Unusual Things Today

I started to cry in the middle of the library - because "Super Trouper" started playing on my iPod;
I got the list of shows I have comps for - and suddenly felt I had nobody to go with, or that there was nobody I wanted to go with, or who would want to go with me.

I walked a lot tonight. This is SO what normal people do: get some exercise, go to the library, get some groceries, come home, eat, read, watch TV.

Dragon's stirring in its sleep. WHY?

Sometimes I worry that fear of boredom, withdrawal from being high on me is what makes me depressed. That I don't know how to be anything but extreme and so when I'm normalized (boring) I create my own extreme - anything to avoid normal.

I don't know what normal is. Or rather I've spent over 30 years not being normal and that's a hard switch.

Later or tomorrow I will write two paragraphs - one about manic and one about depressed, and I will include everything about them in all their glory.

I am realizng now I had a couple blackouts on DJ night. I was playing my playlist on my iPod which I pretty much stuck to - there are songs I don't remember playing - yet I must have. Blackout.